Who’s Got Something For Me? I Do! What Is It? The State DVD Contest
By brian longtin • Aug 3rd, 2009 • Category: watching • Popularity: 48%
Tell us your favorite The State moment, and you could win a DVD prize pack worth literally tens of dollars.
For those who saw our recent post about The State coming to DVD and thought, “Hey, I should go pick that up,” or even, “I’ve never seen that show, I should check it out,” — well, we have some good news.
Under Culture is happy to be offering two The State DVD prize packs, which include:
- The State Complete Series on DVD
That’s four whole seasons of comedy goodness, and an additional disc with hours of extra features. - A The State T-shirt
To impress the ladies and/or gentlemen who know good comedy and good fashion when they see it. - A signed The State poster
Because framing the DVDs and putting them on the wall would be terribly impractical.
To enter, just leave your favorite quote and/or sketch from The State in the comments section (and be sure to use your real email address).
Don’t have one because you’ve never seen it? Then leave your favorite quote and/or sketch from another sketch comedy show you love; if you don’t at least have one of those, it’s debatable whether you should be entering this drawing in the first place.
Winners will be chosen at random from the responses after one week, ending Monday, August 10th at midnight Pacific time, and contacted to provide shipping information. One entry per person, and sorry, US residents only.
[UPDATE:] You may not believe it possible to possess a single poster signed by all 11 members of The State, but you would be wrong. Here’s an image of the memento that could be yours, for all to see and envy (click to see full size).
……….
If you simply can’t wait that long, or have terrible luck at drawings, don’t forget that you can always order your own set now that it’s finally out.
And for more information and video clips than have any business fitting into a tiny embeddable box, check out this friendly widget while you wait to see if your name is drawn.
brian longtin "...just doesn't have the same passion for delivering mail as he does for making and distributing tacos."
Email this author | All posts by brian longtin
Haha. Man, I’m insanely happy that these are finally coming out. I didn’t even know until I saw this post. If I don’t win, I will surely buy them. Of course, my most-used quote comes from the same sketch you have quoted, Taco Mailman.
At least once a week or so, when someone asks for my opinion, I will reply “I don’t know, but I do know this: that was the longest conversation I’ve ever had.”
Fantastic sketch from a fantastic show.
Pat
I wish this was the “Sleep with The State” contest/concept. I have always secretly wanted to enter. However, when The State was on TV I wasn’t of age and that would have been wrong. Now it would just be wrong in a hot totally legal way!
DAMN THIS SIDEWAYS HOUSE
Duh duh duh DUH! Duh duh duh duh DUH DUH!
5 Favorite The State quotes:
5. “Going to make banana fritters cuz we heard that Jesus likes em going to make banana fritters for the lord”- Entire Cast, Roughing It.
4. “…which is ironic, because when we were in high school, none of us could get dates to our prom…except for Marino who went with two stewardess”- Michael Ian Black, Prom
3. “Buzz thinks I want Gwen. Buzz is wrong. I want Buzz! I want to be Miss Buzz! Buzz’s bitch!”- Ken Marino, Asides
2. “I’m sorry David, I spent it all on pasta. I’m going to make a big tomato sauce!”- Ken Marino, The Jew The Italian and The Red Head Gay
1. “Duh! Duh duh duh duh duh! Duh duh duh duh duh!”- Joe Lo Truglio, Kerri Kinney, and Ken Marino, Cerealist Commercial
… He’s like a homosexual Fonzi.
If I had to choose between the tacos and the mail, I am going to have to choose the mail.
“And then what Commandant Wheeler, I’m Doug, and I may not be the brightest tool in the shed, but I had sex with my girlfriend for 2 hours once.”
Have you tried ‘pants’?
“So GOD, if you’re above, and it’s orphans that you love, then please help the por-kee-pine I choooose!” — Ken Marino in Porcupine Racetrack, the greatest sketch of all time.
“You wanna see me fall down…ouch. What am I doin’?”
“You sound like a pig!”
“Call me old fashioned, but I still believe that there’s only one god…and he lives in this lake…and his name is Zordo (sp?)…. (whistles)”
“This one’s easy…eating…sleeping…fucking” “Things you do on heroin!”
The whole damn series is great. I’m so glad I got to replace my vhs with prestigious dvds! I want a shirt and the poster!
Porcupine Racetrack- “Why thank you Jimmy, grab yourself a liquerish stick”
I have to admit I am having a REALLY hard time narrowing it down to just ONE favorite quote, so I’m gonna include a few…
“Let’s get milk-faced and hum like rabbits!” –Tenement
“I hate me.” Hallmark Card Schwann Family
“Damn Birds.” Olympics Sketch
and my all time favorite State sketch would have to be Michael Ian Black in “One Camper…”
Loved the show, still love the show, can’t wait to get my copy in the mail!
“I’ve made my point, son. You’re part engine. Get off my property.”
Before free market economy, we eat potato each night for dinner. Now we have much money we eat two potato each night for dinner>
“Hey!… I’ma Da Pope!”
I don’t know. But I do know this. That was the longest conversation I’ve ever had. Goodbye mailbox.
Who doesn’t love The Jew, The Italian, and the Red Head Gay, especially during the psychedelic reprise with the rest of The State dressed up as people from Godspell?
Or Mind Match…because I love rooting against orphans dressed up in clothes from Victorian England.
“Oh you mean uncle robert?”
…..But he has a beard….
“But you can’t grow beards in space!”
Also much love for Doug and Barry & Levon. Especially Barry & Levon. Awwww, yeah!
Best = Porcupine Racetrack.
From The Barry Lutz Show: “Uh, research is such a restrictive term. I feel I’ve opened up a whole new arena of experimentation which I call “Monkey Torture”.
“We’ve passed this couch three times already!!!!!!:
I love the famous lines:
- “I wanna dip my BALLS in it!”
- “CHICKEN SANDWICH CARL!!!”
and - “Forget it, I’m outta heeeeere.”
But my personal favorite quotes ever are:
- “Now let’s go to the zoo and watcha the monkeys make amore!”
- “Barry: Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.
Levon: It ain’t your concern.”
- “Brrring! Brrrring! Hello Cheese? No - Cheese can’t dial a phone!”
and - “I don’t hate Louie. I love you, Louie. I love everybody, that’s my thing, man!”
The State began airing when I was a very impressionable 11 years old. The impact this show had on my sense of humor and life in general is immeasurable. I specifically remember being at my uncle’s house on Long Island, he had rented ‘Philadelphia’ with Tom Hanks and I told him we couldn’t watch it until after the State was on. He didn’t think the show would be funny, but after seeing Ben Garant’s “Bacon bacon bacon we’re making the moves on you. You’re Bacon!’ sketch, my uncle proceeded to ‘lose his shit’ in the conventional sense of the term and loved the show from that point on. Thank you for making my family laugh!
The undisputed best moment (well, I don’t mind if people dispute, it was a great show) was in Lil Brown Dog Food. Todd and Kerry are sitting on a couch with a dog when Todd, says “Look at that dog, he’s eatin’ it!” and he points at the dog with his hand which came from off screen, although two other hands were present, one which was obviously his left hand, and another that we now see is someone else’s, although it is rubbing his stomach.
“Call me old fashioned, but I believe fire is magic. And it scares me. A lot.” ~ Thomas Lennon
This contest is hard. It’s hard to decide what the best is.
-”I’m aware of my…Pants”
-”You see, what they don’t know is…Me and God are like this!”(i actually asked Todd that in San Francisco in January and it made him laugh. Success!!)
-”I don’t like you so much, for one you are stinky and for two, you dont smell so nice.
Oh, and the entire Chicken Sandwich Carl skit is full of classic quotes.
Thank you the State and have a burgeriffic day!!
Xoxo
The world where everything that begins with an “H” now begins with an “M”
Menry Winkler was on the show Mappy Days
The 31st President was Merbert Moover
Oh, the Morror, the Morror…
Do you know who I am?
I’m Barry Lutz!
I am not talking to you yes i am hello.
“I’m aware of my pants.” One of the best lines ever. I must have used that quote 5000 times back in ol ‘95. And of course, “I want to dip my balls in it!”
“Does everyone understand the popcorn-raygun metaphor?”
favorite quote? man…that’s actually really difficult….but one of my favorites is the one where they’re advertising “Great songs of the 70’s” and Tom Lennon calls Kerri and says “hey, i just got this great cd called “songs of the 70’s”, with such songs as …”Sittin’ on the dock of the bay….watchin’ the tide roll ah-whay, sittin’ on the dock of the bay wastin’ tiii-hiiiii-iiiime (then whistles the whole part) and says “OK! BYE!”
haha.
good stuff.
good stuff.
Favorite State moment is the Krispy Pops commercial with David Wain. “Krispy Pops - They’re Pretty Good!”
“Are you butt-ugly with nasty-ass taste? Do you like pancakes?”
“Little Brown Dog Food is good. I think it’s good.”
Peed my pants for hours.
“I wanna dip my balls in it!”
“Noah didn’t bring penguins on the ark…so penguins aint natural…read ya bible”
“Find a monkey and torture the hell out of it!”
“And also witchoo”
“I’m Doug, I’m not some kind of manimal that you can just send up to my room and lock me in my cage.”
“Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but it seems to me that when the giant that holds up the earth dies, we are screeewwwed!”
Listen, I just died inside and I don’t really feel like talking.
or
DUUUUHHHH! I’m so dumb! I’m Mr. Stupid, I’m a dummy butt…I’m so STUPID!
I don’t care about America, all I care about is sex and booze and pills. Damn this country and everyone in it.
considering matt and I were just in alphabet city in NYC on the way to a bar skipping and singing “the Jew, the Italian, and the red head gay all live together on avenue A!” I would have to say that’s my favorite, 2nd only the Barry sagitarius and levon bonswan. “excuse me while I whisper sweet nothings into this pudding’s ear, awwww yeah”
“This country is full of what I like to call ‘bleeding heart liberals,’ who I guess are turned off by the idea of torturing monkeys for no good reason. I guess all can say is ‘Sorry…I’m the bad guy?’”
Thomas is the best!!!!!
“Penguins ain’t natural, they was chemically man-made like The Incredible Hulk.”
~ “…what, are you gonna send me out to Grandma’s house so that she can teach me pinochle and make me bland?” (Doug & Dad)
~ “You pineapple! You fuzzy cootie!” (Tenement)
~ “And now I have tape…all over my face…” (Tape People)
~ “I’m severe, I’m rock n’ roll, I’m an ocean breeze…” (Asides)
~ “…don’t be remedial, Gina!” (Monkeys Do It)
“No, it’s not in Braille, it’s in English, the language of the USA! (and the audience cheers)”
or
“Hey teach, closin’ doors ain’t my way”
“I don’t mean to sound like and idiot but, Duh duh dada da da duh duh!”
**I must use this quote at least once a week. Maybe that make me an idiot, but i don’t care.
(Probably the best written sketch in the entire series)
“O holiest of crusades thou hast seduced me…..I seek knowledge and its bastard son truth….once again knowledge handed down from the mountain. Mt. Noonan, exit Barry a wiser man” - Barry Twoink
Some other notable ones:
“POOP, poop, poop, poopity, poop, poop, I killed the fork and spoon Raspberry!!!” - Tenement
“Get a monkey, and torture the hell out of it!” - Monkey Torture
“I used to be Russian Cosmanaut, now I sell these magic mice…look at him go” - Free Market Store
“Chicken Sandwich Carl!!!!!” - Not sure the actual title
“You’re joking about the beards?….he’s from Pittsburgh” - Bearded Men of Space Station 11
“Yes, I eat my grandma’s potato chowder, and then I have sex with her.” - Potato Chowder
Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think we should worship the sun and moon as powerful gods… and fear them. *whistle*
“Shoes are my weakness. That’s what Tabby says.”
Best quote would have to be…
“Research is such a restrictive term. I feel I’ve opened up a whole new arena of experimentation which I call monkey torture” just due to the way Tomas Lennon says “monkey torture”
The best sketches would be The Barry Lutz Show, Nazi War Criminals, and The Bearded Men Of Space Station 11″
“Now you may be thinking,’Barry and Lavon, where did you get $240 worth of puddin’?'…
Shhhhhh…
Ain’t none of your concern, baby”
“It’s not funny! It’s dangerous! My boy is dead and this house killed him AND IT WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF US!!!!!!!”
“What they don’t know is that me and God are like THIS (crosses fingers)”
Favorite: Barry and Levon…$240 worth of puddin
“how many orphans are you willing to wager?” “a-all of them”
Oh so many!
“Chicken sandwich, Carl”
“Monkey torture”
“You’re part injun, get off my property”
“Cars are blue. Cars are blue!”
“You gonna send me out to Gramma’s house so she can teach me Pinochle and make me bland?”
“Chicken sandwich Carl- and keep it DOWN!!”
I really liked all of the sketches, but one of my favorites was the “International Signs” sketch…
“We all know the international sign for choking, but do you know all the other international signs?”
Very well conceived and coreographed!
“The monkeys- they no DO-IT….they make love…………”
“Sarge, my honey and I still use a hot oil popper, does the metaphor still work?” - Papa Goulash
Mine sounds like, “Frzzzzn Brrrrzzzz.”
I LOVE IT!
iloveitiloveitiloveitiloveit
As an addendum, I jumped into a pool a week ago with my fiancee present (the one who introduced me to “The State”) and yelled, “CRAMP! CRAMP! CRAMP!
A lifeguard (who, presumably, didn’t see the sketch) dived in after me and tried to rescue me.
Note to others: Lifeguards don’t think it’s funny when you pretend to drown, even if it is for comedic effect.
Nothing will ever beat spending the entire skit setting up all the art experts to ask the question, “What is art?” and have the answer be, “…like…paintings and stuff?”
“He was…..he wased raised in a barn……waaahhhhhhhh”
“Krispy Pops! Part of a balanced breakfast. They’re PRETTY GOOD!”
“It’s an M-16, what do you want with it?”
“What do I want with it? I wanna dip my BALLS in it!”
“what are you gonna do dad? Send to grandma’s so she can teach me penuckle and make me bland?”-Doug
“You can’t pop a goulash.” “Me?” “Not you Poppa Goulash.”
“I’m a F#@%ing Freak of Nature!”-Blueberry Johnson
I could go on for hours and not settle on one favorite…
You’re kidding about the beards, right?
So happy this came out on DVD. Just as funny as I remembered it. The Choking sketch in its entirety is my favorite along with the Copy Shop, Old Fashioned Man, Bologna Feet.
Some random favorites: “Get a monkey, and torture the hell out of it.”
“However, the busboy, being dyslexic brings the man at table 5 a years supply of radishes.”
““You wanna see me fall down…ouch. What am I doin’?”
“You sound like a pig!”
“I don’t care about America. All I care about is sex and booze and pills. DAMN THIS COUNTRY, AND EVERYONE IN IT!”
-Abraham Lincoln
“Isn’t that dangerous? You bet it is. That’s why I charge A LOT.”
YOU’LL BE A MAN SOME DAY, TIMMY!
“To double your orphans, please name a form of transportation…”
“Blue?”
“I have a decade of experience in children’s television, I’m a tireless worker, and to top it all off, I look like a *explicative deleted* blueberry!”
Announcer: “Suddenly at the last possible moment God remembers he’s all powerful! Free’s himself and erases Dr. X’s entire family’s existence back to the beginning of time!”
Dr. X: “Well I’ll be damned.”
But the ending to my all-time fav was already taken, here’s the begining…
“I know that I’m a sinner, But I really need a winner! Or the OOORRRR-PPPHHHHAAAAANNN-IIIIGGGEEE WILL CLOOOOOOOSES!
Announcer:”When you let your kids out to play. They could be at a strip club that doesn’t card.”
Kid:” You’re pretty like my mom.” to a stripper
I’M OUTTA HEEEEEeeeerrre….eeee.
From the orphan game show:
-Name a method of transportation.
-Wood.
-That’s correct! Boats can be made of wood!
-Please, I have a very small apartment.
also, this one from “on the table”:
-What is art?
-I dunno, paintings and stuff?
-That’s correct. goodnight!
Hello Sir/s.
I have a heartbreaking story to tell. I am 28 years old, live in Uganda, have a tumor in my lower abdomen (due to an absorbed twin), have that Benjamin Button disease (but in reverse), and HAVE NEVER SEEN THE STATE (for real). I believe this makes me an exceptionally unique candidate to win this contest. Michael & Michael Have Issues is alright, but do you really want me, a Ugandan, to think that your fellow Americans Showalter and Black are just alright?
I await your reply to my inquiry.
Gino
Oh, and to qualify, my favorite quote from a sketch show is, “Close that refrigerator door. We’re not paying to cool the out of doors,” as sung by Jeepers Creepers’ father in Mr. Show.
“I just don’t have the same passion for delivering mail as I do for making and delivering tacos.”
and
“Let’s get milk-faced and hum like rabbits.”
I typed it incorrectly before. Sorry: “I just don’t have the same passion for delivering mail as I do for making and DISTRIBUTING tacos.”
and
“Let’s get milk-faced and hum like rabbits.”
“Where’s the mousey? WHERE’S THE MOUSEY?! WHERE’S THE MOUSEY?!”
“I’m Doug. Solamente Doug.”
Damn this sideways house!
MTV Sports. Word.
The wife and I noticed that, uh, since the tacos started coming, the mail… doesn’t so much come as often…or…at all. Jake, what I’m getting at is, where’s our mail?
Kevin Allison (Jake): Yeah, you want to know about the mail. Here’s the mail situation. I can’t fit both the mail and the tacos in the bag (it’s hard enough just fitting the tacos). I’ll level with ya; these bags weren’t designed for tacos.
Michael Ian Black: That’s kind of what I’m getting at, Jake.
Kevin Allison: Well, dont’ tell me you’re having a problem with the tacos…
Michael Ian Black: Jake, I love the tacos, OK? They’re maybe the best tacos i’ve ever had. It’s just that, It’s just that, well, if I had to choose. Between the tacos…and the mail…I’d have to choose the mail.
Jake: OK I’m going to…take a breath here… i’m afraid you might be saying something you don’t quite mean. What I’m hearing is, you don’t want the tacos.
….