A slew of smarter, more stylish takes on romance give movie snobs something they can get mushy over without the guilt: love stories with substance.

The egotistical boss? Turns out he’s irresistible once he shows his sensitive side. The clever artsy guy treats a lady better than the overly-masculine alpha male? Hard to believe, I know. And the wholesome childhood friend-slash-doormat who was always there with a shoulder to cry on? Real soul mate material. How could we have missed it? Then around the 100-minute mark everyone drops their misconceptions and goes running to reclaim their destinies, with a slapstick pratfall or wacky cab driver gag thrown in for good measure. Everything works out, credits roll, please dispose of your empty popcorn buckets in the provided receptacles.

The conventional wisdom is that serious film fanatics (largely geeky males) rarely give a thought to these cookie-cutter Hollywood romantic comedies unless coerced to do so by the women in their lives. But even girls with film-geek cred — that sought-after dream woman who’s into foreign films, has actual fashion sense, and should theoretically know better — still seem to have a weak spot for these confections. So can even the snootiest of movie snobs escape them outright if they ever hope to land a woman?

The old reprieve for us serious film goers looking for bearable date movies were of a very specific style: standard story arcs wrapped in strong creative sensibility. That could mean an ironic sense of humor (Reality Bites), a more artful execution (Before Sunrise, Amelie), or even combined with another genre altogether (see Grosse Pointe Blank’s ‘hitman falls in love’, not The Time Traveler’s Wife’s ’sci-fi meets harlequin novel’. Nice try, Rachel McAdams!). They’re still all about finding love in [cue movie trailer voice] “The Unlikeliest of Places,” but at least these films have enough personality to prevent the deep shame those of us with standards would feel at sitting through, say, The Ugly Truth.

Luckily for us, in the last few years a spin-off genre has taken shape in contrast to conventional rom-coms. Instead of formulaic films about stock starlets finding their perfect match, a slew of smarter, more stylish takes on romance give movie snobs something they can get mushy over without the guilt. After all, we like love stories too. It just so happens we prefer them with a bit more substance.

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The current wave of ‘hipster rom-coms’ may be tempting to write off as simply a sub-genre of the same old fluff that just happens to have a better soundtrack. But Natalie Portman’s manufactured Shins moment aside, there’s actually more to it than that. The real difference is that these films are about characters coming to terms with the realities of modern love, instead of rehashed tales of traditional courtship. After all, things have changed a lot in the last generation. If either Romeo Montague or Lloyd Dobler were part of today’s dating pool, they’d probably be served with restraining orders for their stalking habits. And as precious as Pretty Woman is, it’s at least a little condescending to recycle a Cinderalla story where a rich man has to swoop in to save a poor girl and make her life worthwhile.

Where the previous generation of love stories drew on an almost Victorian influence, the new style of indie romance has its roots in films like, yes, Garden State — admittedly a pretty stock story arc, but still a departure for its moodiness over outright sappiness — and more importantly, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Both these films, Sunshine in particular, are still funny and sweet in their own ways, while acknowledging the central idea that sets these indie romances apart: that things don’t always work out perfectly. Relationships are hard, they don’t make sense, but most importantly, they don’t necessarily end tied up in a neat little bow. Real love isn’t just a bunch of cute misunderstandings leading up to a happily ever after.

Especially now, in a decade where people are taking longer to figure out what they want to do with their lives. Whether moving back in with their parents after college or going back to school for a second career as they approach 30, it’s getting to be later in life that people reach what we think of as full-fledged adulthood. The delay isn’t just out of laziness (okay, sometimes it is) as much as an unwillingness to accept a life handed down at age 18 cut from the same mold as the previous generation. Young adults are exploring ways to shape lives in their own fashion, and a natural part of that is developing their own ideas and methods for making love work for them. The hope is no longer to have the love you’ve always dreamed of. It’s to get a chance to dream up your own version of love.

To go back to the prime example, Eternal Sunshine, the premise isn’t that two people had to lose each other in order to realize they were perfect together all along. The moral of that story is that there’s no such thing as perfect; but as adults, we make a choice to live with imperfect and just try not to be dicks about it. A flawed life partner is better than a perfectly conflict-free life of loneliness. The genius of Michel Gondry’s visual style goes a long way to making it memorable, but of equal importance is that it’s not a saccharine fairy tale. It’s an adult take on romance. One with substance.

As a stage in the evolution of Hollywood love stories, this year in particular has been rich with examples. Just this summer, multiple indie-friendly date movies have sprung up, all with an their own interesting explorations of love. They all have something to say. They all all explore what love means to their characters, instead of just playing out how their characters stumble upon it. And thankfully, they’re all 100% McConaughey/Bullock free.

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Paper Heart, the most recent and smallest in scale, follows geeky-cute comedian Charlene Yi who professes not to believe in love, primarily because she’s never experienced it. In a film that’s half documentary, half improvised narrative, we get to see her exaggerated neuroses as she interviews real couples who’ve fallen in love. Her subjects are not glamorous, they’re not sexy, they’re just normal people who can’t get enough of each other. Meanwhile, the inter-cut fictional story follows a charmingly (and yes, occasionally squirm-inducingly) awkward Charlene dealing with the uncertainty of her own blossoming romance (with Michael Cera), cameras rolling all the while.

Though knowing it’s staged might be jarring to some, it’s still a sweet story of a girl realizing that the only way to know what all these adorable old lovebirds are talking about is to drop the defenses and jump in herself. Though reality TV may portray love as a contest, and Hollywood paint it as a fairy tale, she finally has to put down the camera and start living life instead of producing it if she ever wants to understand love for herself. She realizes love isn’t a story you can capture; it’s weird, scary, sudden, uneasy, and we all have to write our own versions.

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(500) Days of Summer, probably the most hip and approachable of the three here (though that’s still no excuse for the extraneous titular parentheses), speaks volumes just in its tagline, ‘This is not a love story. This is a story about love.’ The film lays it all on the table from the outset: this relationship is not going to last. Instead of an idealized romance, we’re offered an affectionate look at the immature, irrational things that people falling in and out of love are prone to do. The boy falls head over heels for the girl, while she resists getting too close to avoid getting hurt and ends up pushing him away. We want so badly for them to meet halfway so it can work, but the point is that in reality, most of the time it just doesn’t.

Some elements border on fantasy and detract to a degree — for example, another Garden State-esque headphone moment, only this time with The Smiths in an elevator (barf). Or the main character’s teen sister having an uncanny wisdom of the dating game (How are we supposed to take this? Has she been around the block a few times at age 12? Is it that children have a purer understanding of love than us stupid adults? Either is equally disturbing). However, the film’s more honest moments are well-executed and easily make up for its faults. A breakout musical number after their first night together suitably captures the euphoria of landing a crush. A post-breakup split-screen sequence conveys the contrast between expectations and reality that always accompanies an attempted reunion. And the film’s structure of skipping back and forth through the chronology of the relationship highlights how every romance has its ups and downs, beginning with bliss and ending with heartbreak. Then, after it’s all over, its up to us to pick our sad asses back up and try it again until we get it right.

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Away We Go is the most mature film of the bunch, thanks to the more seasoned creative team of director Sam Mendes and writing team/real-life couple Dave Eggers & Vendela Vida. Instead of a story about finding or losing love, the fact its main characters are in love is the one thing that’s established from the outset and never wavers. In fact, love is pretty much the only thing they have figured out. It’s everything else they’re still working on, from marriage (to wed or not to wed), family, career options, their coming baby, and most central to the film, where to settle down.

Away We Go doesn’t fall back on the three-act structure of falling in love, having it tested, and coming out stronger. It’s written more like a short story that marches ever forward to whatever conclusion it can. Its characters spend most of the film test-driving different lives by visiting a host of friends, hoping someone they know might have it all figured out. Instead, they realize they don’t want anyone else’s version of life or love, and arrive at the end content to keep their own. Which is reassuring, because this couple is so much cooler than anyone else they know, it’d be a shame to see them turn it all in for a bullshit picket fence.

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So anyone who tries to argue that there are no good date movies this year is either not looking, or bitter because they just can’t get a date. Of course, certain kinds of dates may prefer something like The Proposal. In that case, movie snobs, just sit back with your date, brains-off, and watch two people realize [cue trailer voice again] “They’re Not So Different After All”, while crossing your fingers for some post-movie action. I hear Betty White kills it in that one. But if you’re a smart, modern film-fan looking for a smart, modern take on love, it’s a good time to be in the market for a movie date.

[Paper Heart and (500) Days of Summer are in theatres now; Away We Go comes out on DVD and Blu-ray in September]